The Myth of Sex Addiction by David J. Ley

Author:David J. Ley [Ley, David J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9781442213067
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Case Example

Since age twenty-three, Don has had difficulty controlling a certain behavior, which affects his sleep and fills most of his days, often doing it for much longer than he intended. When he first started, Don was able to limit this activity to a few hours a day. But over time, the role it plays in his life has grown, and he now finds himself actively absorbed in this activity for as much as eleven or twelve hours a day. In the past, Don was able to take breaks from this activity, on weekends and at night. But technology, such as the Internet and cell phones, have made it much more difficult for Don to separate himself and control his immersion in this behavior. Don is now thirty-five and married, with three children. When they married, Tina wasn’t aware of the degree to which this behavior controlled her husband. For a long time, he was able to keep it within limits and to restrain his urges, out of respect for Tina. But as stress in his life increases, Don has less control over it and he fights with his wife about it more frequently. Don shares that he feels guilty about it: “I was at my daughter’s First Holy Communion, and I found myself in the bathroom, on the phone. I’d like to make it stop, but I don’t see how anymore. I can’t imagine a life without it.”

Don is not a sex addict, but a workaholic. Since he began working as an accountant, Don has devoted more and more of his life to his work. He stays at the office long hours every day. He uses his cell phone and e-mail to continue working from home. Don has tolerance for work, as his capacity and stamina, his ability to stay productive and focused at work, have all grown with practice and experience. When he takes days off from work, he gets nervous and anxious and often has to check his e-mail just to get a “fix.”

Don’s decade of work has irrevocably altered his brain. His brain adapted to the demands of his work, and he is now able to process complex situations more quickly. Every task accomplished and success achieved at work sends a thrill of neurochemicals through his brain, washing his mind in a bath of pleasing dopamine, oxytocin, and testosterone, all of which combine to lead him on to seeking that next brain chemical high.

Don’s overinvolvement at work is unmistakably resulting in social distress and consequences. Tina is threatening to leave him and would rather be divorced than married to a husband she never sees.

So why isn’t “workaholism” an addictive behavior? If it was, it would be far more prevalent than sexual addiction. But in current Western values, productivity and the “work ethic” are highly valued. Nowadays, workaholism is known as the “respectable addiction.”

The field of mental health treatment is a powerful tool in society’s arsenal of efforts to create conformity and control. Like many others, I

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